$49.95 Peanut Butter
Will Save You When Disaster Strikes...
or so we're informed by fear-mongering Survival Food Store. This canned peanut butter, imported from New Zealand of all places, has an indefinite shelf life (gag) ensuring gourmet nutrition when the Terrorists, Commies or Nazis strike again.
Other specialties include canned brown bread (reduced from $79.95 to $52.45 per can) or a can of "pork chunks" (reduced from $119.95 to $88.95)
Those culinary delights, a semi-automatic and a couple of twinkies, will make you a well fed National Hero when the world comes to an end. Hallelujah!