Tequila Christmas Cookies
(Courtesy of Sipster, Susan Grentzinger of Los Angeles)
1 cup water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup each sugar and brown sugar
1 tsp salt
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequila
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a good, long sip. Turn on the electric mixer... Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Check Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup, and drink. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat mixture again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another half cup ... just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs in bowl and chuck in dried fruit, picking up pieces of frigging fruit from the floor... Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice with your nuts. Add one table, a spoon of sugar, and somefink else. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to eat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
CHERRY MISTMAS ! ! (hiccup)